If, like me, you have suffered an unexpected bereavement in December, then you will know only too well that the magnitude of that void is all the more devastating, when you are feeling lost and broken and yet all around you, there is that exciting and joyful anticipation that it will soon be Christmas and a ‘Happy New Year’ is approaching.The powerful mix of emotions is overwhelming, the immense pressure, guilt and obligation that you still ought to celebrate with family and friends, put on a brave face and carry on, when all you want to do is simply shut yourself away…The tree, the lights and decorations you put up and admired, now only bring despair, emptiness and darkness, then suddenly you remember the present you had bought them is still wrapped and hidden… never to be shared and opened….yet more anguish prevails when your thoughts turn to their empty seat at the dining table on Christmas Day.A flurry of cards arrive in the post, but these are not ones you rush to open or want to display on your mantelpiece, these do not offer words of happiness and hope but express sorrow and condolences.Thoughts of other grief stricken and lonely people now resonate with you and that you shall remain forever united in melancholic memories of Christmastime.The physical and mental exhaustion of dealing with all the arrangements, and having to wait longer because of seasonal closures keeps you in a prolonged state of shock and limbo, in my case meaning we began the New Year with the Funeral…. Then all was done and our forever gift for him was now a beautifully engraved casket…This has been my own brief and heartfelt way to convey how it feels to lose and mourn for someone I adore, love and miss every day, at a time of year, when the warmth and comfort of spending time together was so important, special and cherished.My personal message to anyone who is or has been through this heart wrenching painful process is to say how truly sorry I am and that your feelings are valid and you are never alone. Take courage, go gently and most of all be kind to yourself.Please remember this is when you should lean on or reach out to people and seek advice, support and help from whomever and whenever you need to…
